Knock Knock!

I sooo need these pads from Knock Knock for every single "occasion" I can think of in the office. ~ Inspira

diptych

ooo inspira, look at these - aren't they lovely? i'm definitely getting the "mean people suck" print for my office! $25 from Alison (found via Oh Joy!). tee hee! is "suck" a bad word? i said it once infront of my sister's kids and the parents went "excuse me", meanwhile they spew "sh**" and "sh**ty" and "bullsh**" all over the place. oh i should disinfect this blog. alright, i digressed...

i think the diptych idea is so neat, just look at 3191. I like this other peonies piece i wrote about before, it was taken at Me&Ro which i hope to visit one of these days - though i can't afford anything there :(





I'm taking a blogging break as i need to concentrate on a little project between E and myself and I had promised E I will look into it. so inspira, it's all yours this week. ~exp

The Old, the New, the Good & the Bad

M and I just came back from Jakarta.

Why Jakarta you ask? Well, the hotel stay was free courtesy of a travel seminar M attended. All we did was find the cheapest (yes, we're cheapo kids in that way) flights to Jakarta.

It was my first flight on a Lufthansa. It was M's first on a Lufthansa international. He warned me of the service. Verdict : Flight service - ok. Reservations Customer Service - no no. Food - definitely no. The plane itself was archaic in that the economy seat passagers had to endure an hour 10 minutes flight with no entertainment (apart from their in-flight music channel). Imagine those passengers flying from Jakarta to Frankfurt via Singapore?!? We're the lucky ones. Flights just slightly more than an hour each. And we get frequent flyer points. But on a taxi ride home (which in itself is an adventure - tell you all about it another day), we agreed that no more flights on Lufthansa.

Whilst in Jakarta, we stayed in Alila Jakarta. An urban minimalistic hotel in the middle of an old Batavian city. I love the contrast of the 2 in a distance. I loved all the action and activities outside our room window.

All we did was just soak in the atmosphere of the city (yes, that include the smog and pollution emitting from every single vehicle on the roads). ~ Inspira

(Pictures courtesy of Alila Hotels and Resorts)

i heart fridays

after a day of staring at the computer and figuring out which matrix should multiply by which freaking vector, i'm almost blind and i can almost hear birds circling and chirping above my head. i love fridays. they allow me to pack up and go home and continue my work through the night. and when i wake up, it will be saturday and i can stay at home in my pj's guilt-free. though, i have promised myself that saturday is a day for collating information for my apartment-hunt. saturday is also the typical magazine-buying day - but i'm trying so hard to put myself on a magazine-diet.

oh, when i took a break from matrix algebra - i made these! ~exp

to fruits

To days of inspiration
Playing hookey, making something out of nothing
The need to express -To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad

a brand new day, no buzzing fly. it's probably sleeping or has managed a great escape. the song remains. lots of work to do. brain in overdrive. ilee's letterpress on my table. thoughts of winter. missing E. he'll probably like these for his ice-cream. ~exp

To riding your bike,
Midday past the three piece suits
To fruits - to no absolutes - To Absolut - to choice
To the Village Voice -To any passing fad
To being an us for once
instead of a them

non sequitur

here i am, at the end of the day, packing up to go home for a home-cooked meal. my mom cooks my dinner. i eat and say how great it is. truthfully. a fly has been buzzing in my swanky office (i say swanky because i realize only recently that having an office to yourself is a luxury - i even have my own thermostat to boot) and i am hoping it will die from overexertion and lack of food. i also learnt a lesson today about myself - when the going gets tough, i tell myself "be good". i want to be so good i can leave and be loved elsewhere. yeah, that's my ego talking. anyhoo, that's how i motivate myself. did i mention my friends think i'm a workaholic? i think they are crazy, between E and myself there's only room for 1 workaholic and it ain't me.

between the buzzing fly (do you know that flies don't bite here, the ones in the midwest do! goodness gracious!) and my buzzing mind, this song plays and plays...and i just want to leave it in this blog...

To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries

To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese

To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo

To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion

Creation, vacation

Mucho masturbation

believe me, the d* word sends fuschia to my cheeks, the best i can do is to allude to it in a song...~exp

(La Vie Boheme lyrics, excerpted from the musical Rent)

one thing everyday

above pictures are beautiful in a spooky sort of way. all designs from Alexander McQueen whom I think is a genius (images via Nymag, Spring 2007 collection).

i read a Zach Braff interview on Instyle last night and he quoted Eleanor Roosevelt.. "Do one thing everyday that scares you". I forgot what Zach Braff did or is doing everyday but it got me into thinking what scares me.

i have doll-phobia and i have the typical bug-phobia. i don't understand the first, all i know is i generally hate dolls or anything that is life-like in a miniature form. no one taught me that nor was i conditioned, i was born with it as far as i know. neither was i traumatized by chucky or what that scary movie was called. yeah, he and his bride. bug-phobia has to do with the fact that those creepy-crawlies exhibit their body parts in explicit ways, the underside of a grasshopper, a cockroach, a dragonfly, a butterfly - there's no concealing their functional parts, very much like machines. i'm now weak in my fingers as i'm typing this.

Roosevelt's quote reminds me that there's such a thing as numbing your fears. through practice. that quote sneers at me. it daunts. it makes me want to analyze those irrational fears within me. it also makes me want to accept my fears. it also reminds me of that expeliamus spell that Harry Potter has to learn how to cast, and in the meanwhile, confront his fear. my fears? here they are:

1. i fear that if i'm not cautious, i'll become unlovable and before i know it, i'll be abandoned and left alone.
2. i fear my honesty, that i don't filter my thoughts and inevitably hurt the ones that i care most about.
3. i fear that i'll be a bad mother if i ever become a parent.
4. i fear hell.
5. i fear that one day, the whole world will find out what a 'faker' i am, that i'm not as good as they think. i'm actually rather stupid and mean.

~exp

King M I

Exp, I read your post on stalking E with a grin on my face; nodding my head in agreement. How true all your points!

I am however guilty of stalking M. So much so that I think I'm in-his-face, stalking. Literally.

Case in point: my birthday is not for another month and a half but I'm already shoving into M's poor face, pictures of bags - I think will notch up the beauty quotient of a rather dull metallic but otherwise hardworking workhorse of a laptop - as if proclaiming their beauty but really: can I please have one for my birthday gift this year, M? One of these bags?

Please? ~ Inspira

(Pictures courtesy of Janine King Designs)

stalking E

i read somewhere that if you love your husband, you would actually stalk him. i wonder how much I love E, would I stalk him? Regretably, I see stalking as an unproductive exercise - much like fishing (to me). i went fishing once with my brother, i was 17, and i recall wishing that i had brought my math homework with me. that's howi feel about stalking.

i figure i love E a whole lot. and here's my list:

1. i would work my ass off so he doesn't have to worry about getting/leaving a job. no, E is not a scumbag and yes, he's perfectly capable of bringing home turkey bacon. BUT, i want him to have the luxury of doing what he loves and THAT is really hard to come by. i'm loving what i do (i may hate my environment) and i want E to enjoy work too.
2. i would educate myself. i want to be this smart cookie so we can make smart decisions together. i'm a firm believer in synergy, roughly, 1+1>2. i think God thinks that too, somewhere in Ecclesiastes, it says "two is better than one".
3. Be pretty and sexy for E. Life is too short to procrastinate looking and feeling good.
4. Be happy for E. Life is too short to procrastinate happy thoughts.

is that it? gee, i thought i would have a longer list. ~exp.

Babel

With a name like Babel, you'd expect a film about the way language and culture divide the nations of the world, cause misunderstandings, and pull mankind apart. After watching this film , my understanding of it was cloudy. It's a complex film with many layers. I felt that the ideas and themes were more implicit than explicit.

Babel follows 4 inter-connected stories - an American couple in Morroco, a Moroccon family, a single parent Japanese family and a Mexican woman. We view how these stories weave, affecting one another in otherwise inconspicuous ways and watch every single one of them experience one way or another, a form of prejudice. The events that unfold throughout the film are not caused by cultural barriers as much as sheer bereaucratic foolishness. Although this film says a lot about the current socio-political climate inherent in our world today, it does very little to connect four desolete situations.

Babel is beautifully shot and wonderfully acted; Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett head up an ensemble cast, a series of vignettes strung together in a way that maximises their screen time. Taken individually, the film's short stories have a lot of depth to them. Stitched together in a single entity, they form a film that is ultimately, quite shallow.

What I liked about this film though was the way it framed politically, our current global inclination - "the shoot first, ask questions later" mentality when it comes to anything out of the ordinary. Even worse, when questions are finally asked, they are often based on preconceived assumptions about the people involved or their intentions. This problem generally boils down to an inability to communicate, which is where the title comes in. People are quick to judge, to misconstrue, to assume they understand. ~ Inspira

guilty pleasure

i'm guilty because i indulged in ilee's letterpress calendar. it was an impulse purchase. with haste. brain didn't function at all. it was all heart's fault. husband was supersweet; he understands this weakness of mine .... ~exp.

(image from ilee at etsy... contact her at etsy if you would like to purchase her lovely calendar)

dreaming

i like to daydream... my wishlist...

Eames recliner and Noguchi coffee table


Mies van der Rohe's Barcelona chair and daybed

Eames rocker and plywood chair

(images: first two from thisisfurniture - they ship anywhere in the world and the last two from herman miller)

hee hee, did i say i love daydreaming? ~exp.

expedit grande

i love the expedit bookcase, it has been my bookcase and my room divider for 5 years. i never knew it can look this neat! via AT , via ikea hacker.

mine is in beech, looks like black can be pretty too!

~exp.

new

inspira - do you like the new banner? does it look terribly familiar?
chinoiserie love: left from anthropologie, right... i forgot where i got that picture from....~exp.

joey

dark helplessness. joey, by concrete blond. when something this raw struck a chord within you, you try to search for the memory that resonates with it. but you know. you don't want to go back there. again. ~exp.

free

heart grows fonder. i see this. i understand this. i can even taste it if i want to.
simplicity, simple, simpler. E may not know this, but i love being with him because he's uncluttered. he makes me focus on simple pleasures in life. i sometimes feel that i surround myself with stuff because i'm insecure. my grip is strong. let go. i'm trying. someone once told me that we are all custodians of God's wealth. we make the decisions to spend our money on ourselves or on others. this makes a lot of sense to me. we actually need very little to live happy.

new home.

uncluttered.

simple.

free.

(i love these "sunwashed" images i took with my cellphone, they were from a japanese lifesyle magazine Come Home!) ~ exp.

Towers of Love

Sitting on the floor in the midst of towering boxes in our Productivity Room (read: Study Room), sifting through piles of photos M and I have taken over the years together.

Whilst pulling out worthy "us" pictures to put together for our project, I'll always be partial to pictures of architecture we have taken on our holidays together. ~ Inspira

The view from our hotel room in Paris. A beautiful respite after a hellish race against time to get back to London from Italy.

A non-descript long street in beautiful cultural Melbourne.

fuzzy scents

'This house brought back memories of our childhoods for both of us – of open back doors and neighbours and relatives wandering in and out, cooking and eating, coming and going, whether you liked it or not.'

i went apartment-hunting last sunday - a happy accident, i had not planned it. the process was uplifting. i know the search will be somewhat lonely because E is not here but that makes me ever more resolved to enjoy the process. i've always had the ability to visualize - thanks to my constant daydreaming - but recently i've been thinking about the manner in which i will carry out this hunt.

had tea with a friend e (another e) last saturday and our conversation brought up a point: does it matter that i have this whole lot of decor ideas but no apartment yet? my gut tells me "nope" but within me, i was mulling over this for the weekend. i guess it doesn't really matter. reason: i'm a dreamer. i'm vulnerable - i expose myself to a host of ideas sans boundaries. i'm making up my dream list as i go along; i'm prioritizing this list as i go along (i'm an economist by training and i stick to the village-chant/mantra: unlimited wants, limited resources).

what matters? what matters is what i want to embed - the untangible the tangible brings. i have the good fortune of chancing upon Livingetc and seeing the above quote. the quote brings back familiar scents (scents of my late granny, the sandbox, my mom's cooking, my pillow that is as old as i am and the sea). i realize that i'm on a quest to create that household warmth, that childhood fuzziness and the cute thing about it is, i'm hoping to embed E's childhood memories too. in so doing, i'll know more about E. these aren't the only memories that i'm trying to invoke, there are more. the memories of us first knowing we will share our lives together - the places we visit, the music we listen, the mire we share and the jokes we make. so, the apartment search will be a conscious process: conscious that it's not only about the "bricks and mortar", but about lives - ours, our friends' and families', our pets', our future kids', our dreams and fuzzy scents and warmth. ~exp.

awe

had to post this quickly - i'm busy doing this.

... i'm floored, in awe and ... wow! the installation is called Falling Garden (2003) by Gerda Steiner and Jörg Lenzlinger for the Venice Biennale. (via Oh Joy!, via Free People Blog, via Love Forever). An excerpt from the description:

"On that rug, a bed upholstered with hay invited the weary to relax and observe the installation while lying down. The scent of sweet lavender drifted from the pillows."

~ exp.

10 Things (+More)

I work crosswords puzzles in ink.

I would be a really good mom someday. But right now, I'm cool with being a really good aunt.

I am sometimes more perceptive than I would like to be.

I am fiercely loyal. Sometimes, stupidly so.

I never play dumb. Never.

I am way too hard on myself.

I am a change agent.

I am not afraid to tell people that I love them.

I am militantly pro-choice.

I am pro-adoption.

I know a little bit about a lot of things.

I am capable of being mean and nasty. But I fight it. Hard.

I have hips.

I am not my sister.

I am lousy at forgiving myself.

I am 31 flavours. And then some. ~ Inspira

rugs

it has to do with the fact that E and I are apart that i've completely gone into an overdrive mode. thinking about the future and possibilities, planning and visualizing have helped ease the awkwardness and loneliness of being miles away.

dwell on the possibilities. dwell. i like the word. ~exp.

above, Lulu Guinness' rug from The Rug Company.
below: Kiki carpet special

clockwise from left:
stone rug US$399, morocco window rug US$99-599,

botanical rug US$99-499 and love bird rug US$99-529.
all images from west elm.

let's do floor

Alexander Girard's welcome mats, used to be available from maXimo, not anymore and i can't find them anywhere else... modernseed has the christmas edition at a sale price of US$22 (was $45). ~exp.

"International Love Heart" (left) and "Love Heart" (right).

(images from maXimo)

dauphine

taking a break to oogle at letterpress... notebooks and seating cards from Dauphine Press. ~exp.

woods

boy, it was fun just focussing on one element of decor. on the other hand, i'm feeling extremely guilty for not being able to settle down to work. i have tons to do and will have a whale of a time doing them, but starting is always hard for me. Cole & Son's woodblocked and handprinted wallpapers are irresistable. I like Woods (under New Contemporary Two collection) best. Available at Lee Jofa. alrighty, got to work hard today. ~exp.

(image from Cole and Son)

uncertain

inspira,

i plan to 'grow' with our apartment. i'm not able nor do i want to furnish a place at one go - i'd rather savor the decorating experience; i'd rather hold out as long as i can, just in case something i really like comes along.

am not too sure if i like vinyl adhesives on our walls - i find them tacky (pun intended!) but there are great designs out there and for someone who's renting, it's a great alternative. i found these from a french company Domestic via imedaGoze sometime ago. i don't know if i will like them eventually... what do you think? ~exp.

left to right: flora and fauna red1, mini pop flower in silver and jungle gold.

(images from Domestic)

Resonance

I realise today reading my partner in crime's post on Nama Rococo the that I need to get a move-on with the home projects ie. the study room needs to be organised, the store room needs some attention (already!) and the curtain for the living room and master bedroom need to be completed and up, the walls need distraction in the form of paintings and/or photos. The list doesn't end there.

Although the apartment is not completely furnished (how can one ever complete furnishing one's home?) I still feel at home. As strange as it will sound (pardon the pun), it's comforting to hear my own conscious thoughts resonate in the living room with bare walls. ~ Inspira

nama rococo

still coveting... nama rococo offers hand-printed wallpaper. Each sheet is acid-free and measures 25" by 38". my geeky self is loving random geometry (i can safely say that my geeky husband will love this too) , my dolly-girly self is digging tokyo & vine and serious bokay and my bohemian self is loving french dot... choices, choices, choices... ~ exp.

(all images from Nama Rococo)
1st row: left - French Dot, right - Tokyo & Vine
2nd row: left - Random Geometry, right - Serious BoKay

wallcovering

continuing with the obsession, wallcovering by Tracy Kendall, US$120 each from I.D. Chicago. ~ exp.

(image from I.D. Chicago)

corner

read the interview between life fever and amy butler where amy unabashedly admitted to having a "girl space". i want my girl space too (though i'll probably call it my giggling corner). everything feminine and tickishly girly could go into that corner of mine without E gagging or cringing... and thoughts for my corner? Taylor and Wood's Frames via Graham and Brown. Imagine the creativity that could emerge from these walls and yes, kiddies can draw freely too :) ~ exp.


(images from Graham and Brown)

a list

inspira

wow, hague <-- when is it going to happen? i'm sure you'll tell me more. i'm back after a long flight, it's amazing how my body can tolerate the abuse.

i've yet to compute the number of miles i've travelled over the past 3 weeks, my forecast for this year is that i'll be travelling at least 10 times more - not all that thrilling since it's all work-related, one of my new goals for the year is to make the best of it and sneak in some fun while travelling. on the flight from c-ville to chicago, i had time to jot down my resolutions for the new year :)

i've come up with a system of "tagging" my years - a new habit which has worked fine for me so far...

2005: joy
2006: transition
2007: warmth

2005 was a year spent on creating "joy". it was the year when i was job-searching for a one year stint at ANYWHERE, planning our wedding, moving out of the midwest and trying to spring-clean my notions of marriage and love. it was a year when i tried to be conscious of who i am and why i wanted to marry E. it was a year when i had to examine very hard at what i'm passionate about - in work and in life. i'm glad that i had the time to reflect; wedding planning proved to be a wonderful experience - it wasn't all that superficial as i had first envisioned it to be, it turned out to be soulful and nourishing and i cherish the memory.

2006 was a year of great difficulty when i was muddling through it. it was a year of trying to understand the dynamics of two persons living together, trying to complete a PhD, trying to not let the waves of uncertainty inundate two lives; and trying to ride the waves hand in hand with each other. Now that I look back at what we've achieved, it didn't appear that difficult, i feel so much closer to E than before (hey, we actually can make anything work!)

now, for 2007 - "warmth". 2007 will be a year of trying to create a home for both of us... to delve deeper into what matters in our lives and work toward creating a "fireplace" where we can warm our toes when the world gets cold and energize ourselves when we need comfort. here're my resolutions (not in order of importance):

1. To have the courage to put myself and my ideas out there. For oh-so-often, I'd choose a route that seems more comfortable because I don't risk failing. I think I'm at the age where I should not take failure so seriously. In fact, I should fling nonchalant humor at failure. I tend to overestimate my ability to control my environment. I'm going to undo that habit, as long as I give my best - i can learn from any consequence.
2. To be kinder and more generous. To be more spiritual.
3. Finish at least 3 books: this, this and this.
4. Finish all my 3 on-going projects.
5. Start 3 more.
6. To read more classics: gertrude stein, hemingway and twain.
7. To jumpstart our apartment search. home-making. i envision this will be highly rewarding.
8. To enrol in a fine arts program. I'm pretty sure now this is what I want to do - the question is how I'll be able to juggle.
9. To love more - family and friends. Along with this, to write more, to call more often.

geez, a really long post for me! ~ love to all, exp

Sampling the Action

I first laid my eyes on a Lomo camera at Kinokuniya some 3 years ago. Since then, I've been reading up and "studying" the lomography movement here.

Let me be the first to admit that whilst I got sucked into the lomo-world, I haven't really been the practising kind. M surprised me with an ActionSampler Flash at our wedding. A one-push-shutter-4-sequential format plastic camera.

It's a basic, no-brainer fun type of camera. The beauty of a lomo camera : anyone and everyone can be a lomographer. Experimenting comes with the territory. And that is something I will be busy with the next few months. ~ Inspira

Chocolat

Mmm . . . . . chocolates. Need I say more? ~ Inspira

(Pictures from Just William Chocolates)

Hague it or Not

I woke up today with an a fresh burst of outlook in life. That I will take stock of what I have and have been given as a gift and use that gift unselfishly.

That said, the offer to work and be in the "thick of action" in Hague has its moments of doubt. Not because I am afraid of the nature of work it will expose me to but because I wanted to work on what I have presently here with M for a little while longer. Don't get me wrong. M has been encouraging me to take the job up at Hague. I figured the work in Hague can be done as it is now from where I am. Perhaps the idea of relocating will be revisited in the near future.

Public speaking and being media-savvy is probably something I need to work on seeing the nature of cases I'm thrusted into. You'd think that with the career path I'm on, I'd be all confident and be the media darling that I should be but noooo, I get tongue twisted when I am out there, taunted by those smart journalists.

Someone hold my hand and enrol me in a public speaking class. Anyone? Please? ~ Inspira

new year, resolutions - not yet

setting new year resolutions is a big thing for me, i've yet to complete my list. i'm beginning to suspect this has to do with my being a perfectionist - i want to set resolutions that are not too out of reach yet not too within reach either - geez!

christmas and new year came and went and i'm regretting every bit for not resting; i was working my butt off at a high price. i hated myself but have since forgiven myself, hey, it's a new year, a new slate ;)

E and my anniversary was supersweet though, we spent a relaxing day (i.e. doing nothing), had dinner at Oak Chalet in Bellmore, NY and didn't give each other anything tangible :)

i'm leaving virginia for chicago tomorrow - there are a lot of stuff here in c-ville that i will miss: bodo's bagels, barnes and noble at emmet street, five guys' burgers and peanuts, the crisp cool winter air and our simple one-room apartment. i'm in this weird mood - i feel that i'm drifting and i'm not sure where my home really is... ~ exp

Pretty in Pink

Paddington, Sydney on a beautiful summer afternoon.

I felt like I was in an old world with beautiful Edwardian lattice iron works framing petite townhouses. The air screamed of bohemian chic.

Whilst at the Saturday Paddington market, I met with Jessica McKenzie of Pretty in Pink and scored a few items - they are so irrisistably kitschy and chic all at once! ~ Inspira

(Pictures courtesy of Pretty in Pink)