a list

inspira

wow, hague <-- when is it going to happen? i'm sure you'll tell me more. i'm back after a long flight, it's amazing how my body can tolerate the abuse.

i've yet to compute the number of miles i've travelled over the past 3 weeks, my forecast for this year is that i'll be travelling at least 10 times more - not all that thrilling since it's all work-related, one of my new goals for the year is to make the best of it and sneak in some fun while travelling. on the flight from c-ville to chicago, i had time to jot down my resolutions for the new year :)

i've come up with a system of "tagging" my years - a new habit which has worked fine for me so far...

2005: joy
2006: transition
2007: warmth

2005 was a year spent on creating "joy". it was the year when i was job-searching for a one year stint at ANYWHERE, planning our wedding, moving out of the midwest and trying to spring-clean my notions of marriage and love. it was a year when i tried to be conscious of who i am and why i wanted to marry E. it was a year when i had to examine very hard at what i'm passionate about - in work and in life. i'm glad that i had the time to reflect; wedding planning proved to be a wonderful experience - it wasn't all that superficial as i had first envisioned it to be, it turned out to be soulful and nourishing and i cherish the memory.

2006 was a year of great difficulty when i was muddling through it. it was a year of trying to understand the dynamics of two persons living together, trying to complete a PhD, trying to not let the waves of uncertainty inundate two lives; and trying to ride the waves hand in hand with each other. Now that I look back at what we've achieved, it didn't appear that difficult, i feel so much closer to E than before (hey, we actually can make anything work!)

now, for 2007 - "warmth". 2007 will be a year of trying to create a home for both of us... to delve deeper into what matters in our lives and work toward creating a "fireplace" where we can warm our toes when the world gets cold and energize ourselves when we need comfort. here're my resolutions (not in order of importance):

1. To have the courage to put myself and my ideas out there. For oh-so-often, I'd choose a route that seems more comfortable because I don't risk failing. I think I'm at the age where I should not take failure so seriously. In fact, I should fling nonchalant humor at failure. I tend to overestimate my ability to control my environment. I'm going to undo that habit, as long as I give my best - i can learn from any consequence.
2. To be kinder and more generous. To be more spiritual.
3. Finish at least 3 books: this, this and this.
4. Finish all my 3 on-going projects.
5. Start 3 more.
6. To read more classics: gertrude stein, hemingway and twain.
7. To jumpstart our apartment search. home-making. i envision this will be highly rewarding.
8. To enrol in a fine arts program. I'm pretty sure now this is what I want to do - the question is how I'll be able to juggle.
9. To love more - family and friends. Along with this, to write more, to call more often.

geez, a really long post for me! ~ love to all, exp