21 July 2008

Love Thyself

Someone recently told me that I am good at taking things onto myself to handle.

I am still trying to figure out whether that is an inherent character flaw.

On taking a step back and seeing myself through these years, I think I do agree that I am seamlessly good at taking things onto myself. My dad used to tell me that even at 5, I feel and take on things onto myself beyond my years and capability.

For as long as I have remembered, I have always been the one to protect the weak and the innocent. The battle scars on me bear judgement of those days. I feel the need to protect, love and fight for others more than I do for myself even when I am posed with the need to deal with me first.

I "lost" myself a few weeks ago and at the crossroads, I made the decision to "find" myself. With that, I had to give myself the attention and love I needed then, for me.

I know that it's healthy and important to I give myself what I need most first, before others. But why do I feel guilty walking away from others in order to give myself that attention and love? ~ Inspira

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