vacillate

inspira,

i'm in new orleans now.

a mentor and colleague of mine who is a president of a small association will be giving his speech later, i'm looking forward to that. if i need inspiration, he's a ready source.

my official work is done and i'm in the zone where i vacillate between feeling down on myself for the things i've not been able to accomplish in 07 and feeling hopeful that 08 will be a good year.

for the years that i've been a grad student, i've held incredibly unrealistic expectations about how fast i work. churning out an essay overnight and still bagging an A was an acquired skill. it gave me false security. presenting my ideas under scrutiny by the best brains out there, has proven to be another matter. my mantra for 07 has always been: "don't be an idiot."

i'm working on my resolutions (out of my love for lists.) of the things that i'm happy to have done:

(a) took an art class
(b) read more classics
(c) having the courage to discuss my ideas and views

i'm still deliberating on the things that i've not done. honestly, i don't want to face the longer list that chronicles failed attempts, unfulfilled aspirations. still, my love for lists and the way my brain ticks tell me that to move on, i still need to look back.

more later...

xo,
exp