Palms sweaty, I braced myself for the onslaught to come, the decisions I would soon have to make, the quandary I would soon face.
It sounded simple: I needed a new lipstick. But what colour? What type? Which brand? I'm not usually this passionate about cosmetics, but this recent hunt for a new lipstick made me realise just how big the Make-Up World really is.
I'd just worn to the very core my all-time favourite lipstick, which showed just the tiniest hint of colour so I didn't look like death warmed over. I thought I'd just walk out and buy another, but to my horror, I discovered they had discontinued the range (after visiting every single branch of mass-market store they were sold in, in the hope that by some oversight or divine intervention, one branch might still carry the old range). I got the hint after about 20 variations of "We don't carry that range anymore, ma'am. (Polite smile) Yes, we've checked the store-rooms. Twice. (Trying-to-be-polite smile)" I finally got the hint and left before they could call Security.
Okay, I thought, perhaps this was a sign to try some new stuff. How difficult could it be to find a new favourite lip colour?
What greeted me was a myriad of choices no make-up novice should be exposed to without first being trained in Not Buying 10 Lipsticks of Similar Colour 101. What's more, only armed with a vague memory of my defunct lipstick shade, I was clueless about where to start. I decided on the look-around-for-somewhat-similar-shades approach and ended up with what my girlfriend described as "four pink lipsticks - all alike". And they were all still somehow...not it.
Perhaps the technique was wrong. You know which I mean. The one where you try lipsticks on the back of your hand and hold it near your lips, and desperately flick your eyes from mouth to hand, to mentally "transfer" the colour to the lips. It also makes your friends remark that you look "a little cross-eyed lately". And fat load of help the dim lighting was.
Yes, I was overwhelmed. In days of yore, DIY was the buzzword. Powdered ochre, powdered chalk, perfumed animal fats, ground-up minerals (think red iron oxide, greenish-blue malachite, black galena) - whatever you could find around your house or garden, you could slap on your face and you were ready to go. The legendary Cleopatra, never blew her budget on Chanel Teint No. 9 to get that creamy olive skin...
Now, you can go for sans-sun bronzed look one day and emerge porcelain fair the next. You've got glitter for the face and body, and recently, I came across a foundation for the legs. One make-up enthusiast recently showed me her latest acquisitions: glitter perfume and make-up for hair.
One season it's matte, another it's glitter and barely days later, gloss in is. Make-up gurus shout "Go au naturel", and within about the same time your new one-minute-fast-dry-matte-nail-polish-with-a-hint-of-glitter takes to dry, they reveal that drama is back. Help!
And if colour alone isn't confusing enough, just try figuring out the chemical composition of these beauty enhancers. While cosmetics deal with all things superficial (you wipe it off at night, right?), the industry's efforts - in terms of R&D, product development, publicity et al - is far from, well, skin-deep. Pick up a brochure from the cosmetics counter and you'll need a medical dictionary. Some items I've come across"Fucus-algae (I kid you not), beta-hydroxy acid, Arginine (some plant molecule), silk amino acids Onymyrrh (...duh?) all meant to "trigger physiological messages that restore cellular life". One of my girlfriends was glad she was restored.
The final stunner in my Lipstick Hunt was picking my way through the sheer army of names which assaulted me from all corners. It is not unusual for "Mocha Fudge", "Plum" and "Chocolate Ice" to refer to things not even remotely edible. I formed a statement in my mind: "Leading Lady Pink (with a ) Heart of Violet (does the) Nude Cha-Cha (near a) Sand Blast (to get an) Island Kiss". Everything not in a parentheses is an actual name of shade. And oh..what about the street-inspired cosmetic epithets? "Urban Decay", "Acid Rain", "Big Bang", "Lip Gunk"...pretty cool, sure, but who'd have guessed these were meant to make one look better?
Don't get me wrong. I've got nothing against variety in cosmetics and I've come to love the industry's fast-paced developments. I must confess I am seduced by the wide selection that's available. It's just that I'm a stick-to-my-favourite gal. It's easier on the heart (not to mention the pocket) that way.
And by the way, I finally found my new lipstick, tucked away in a corner in a pharmacy. Not quite The One...but it'll do. ~ Inspira
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