13 August 2008


I believe in too many things.

I wonder if there exist the ability in too much - to accept too much or to honour too much.

I know that there comes a point that we have to draw the line and say that from this point on, the subject is closed. I know what I believe and I will not compromise that for someone else's beliefs. The old saying goes, "You have to stand for something or you will fall for anything." I wonder when you know you are at the point of negotiations being closed.

There are certain things that are black and white. These are spelled out by religious, legal and social disciplines that I adhere to. But there is so much that comes along that does not fit into one of these three categories. What do I do then?

It would be so much easier if life came with an instruction manual. But it does not and the decisions that I make, are not made in a vacuum. I know that what decisions I make on the issues that I face now will effect and affect people and things for a long time to come. But should that be a consideration when I make the decisions that I have to make? Am I to consider the effects of my decisions on other people or just make those decisions and allow the effects to fall out as they happen? Do I believe too much in the value of other people and not enough in the value of myself? Who is making these decisions? I am. I must. So why should the opinions and concerns of others be a dictating factor in my decisions?

I believe that I am the product of my environment and that I must interact with my environment and mantain a good balance with it. The people in my environment are important to me. What they think and what they do are of great importance to me. I want to see people happy. It makes me happy when I can make someone else happy. Part of my make-up is the need to minister to another person. So, their opinions are important to me. But they should only be as important as they fit into the scheme of what is right and good for me. I too am important. More so to me then someone else should be. I need to learn that. If I can make my decisions and help people deal with that decision, isn't that being more fair and helpful to all those involved instead of vascillating back and forth between decisions and worse yet, no decisions?

Take a stand and let the chips fall where they may. People respect a leader. Whether we admit it or not, people like someone to be in charge and have authority. They want that authority to respect them but they like someone who will take responsibility and also the consequences. Can I do that? Do I want to do that? That is the real issue. Do I allow my fears of rejection dictate what I know is best for me? I should not! But, why do I? I am still a human who needs to be needed and accepted. What is the panacea that will allow what I know to drop into what I believe? That is the crux of the issue. Do I accept what I know, what I believe, or what I feel? ~ Inspira

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