" The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it" - Richard Bach
how many times have i let a happy moment pass me by? whenever a teensy moment of sheer happiness peeks its head out, i'm already on to the next task at hand. i have this incredible way of not letting myself rest - i have this incredible way of not wanting to claim any credit by indulging in the moment.
so i'm done, all six years of graduate school has culminated to 125 pages worth of thought, all the rewriting, rephrasing, winnowing, typing, rereading, gnashing, and crying. and come mid- August i know this weight i'm still feeling will vaporize... right now, i'm still walking on eggshells, waiting on Murphy's law - dang, why can't i just relax?
the next one year is going to be hard - i'm still in my transient haze - our little household will be split apart, oceans apart, we will each have our own schedules and there's no need to consult each other on what we want for dinner; we will have thoughts that we will sorely want to share with each other while driving (or on bus rides?). and coffee breaks will not be the same, and when Carly Simon sings "i had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee" we wish for each other's goofiness.
happy birthday singapore! you've been on my mind a lot lately. i look forward to coming home, but you'll understand my mixed feelings, won't you? ~ exp.
2 comments:
Oh Exp, your post is so beautiful! I suspect very much that I too will be in an ephemeral state of mind when I return home on Sunday.
yeah, the in-between state of mind...it just keeps unfolding.
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